5AM

Ok so it is 5.30 in the morning now and it is not because i am up early. I'm not a morning person, that's for sure. Haha! But the truth is.... I've been sewing from 12AM to 5 AM just now. Somehow i feel most energized and motivated during these hours and if you ask me to get up early and do my work in the morning, i ain't going to work. I don't have any motivations to work during 7 AM to at least 11 AM. But yes, i am working on one competition which is the Eu Yan Sang design competition. I should say, i don't see a chance of me winning the competition but i just can't give up halfway even though this competition is sucking away all of my time and energy. I think of giving up as a bad habit, which i never ever should do, whatever the situation is. If i have to re-do something in a night, i will re-do even when it means no sleep. To be completely honest here, i am so busy and frustrated since last week because i have literally so many things to do in so little time due to the competitions i joined and i constantly feel like crying due to the exhaustion i am suffering from. I haven't been sleeping enough, i slept for only  4 to 5 hours a day whereas throughout the day i work from afternoon to early morning. But due to so many work i have to do, i don't even have time to cry it out. I have a lot of moments where i just wanted to cry it out but i don't because i can use that crying time to do work instead. That's how dedicated i am and how stressed i sound now. I think i shouldn't join any competitions anymore, as i have joined numerous competitions this year. I really, really should find a day where i can sleep for 24 hours to repay those sleepless nights. 

Anyway, don't consider my stories as a whine because it's not. I do things with all my heart even though i am exhausted to the extend of having mental breakdowns. I love what i do and the mental breakdowns i have is not related to fashion itself but to other redundant things i shouldn't be thinking about. So don't worry about me or feel sorry for me. I am, by all means, happy and fine. I will continue writing again when i have the time, but now i have to sleeeppppp!! ;)

Silvia TehComment