Deep into Life

I think i'm going to write something quite offensive to certain people, especially those who are from my hometown. I mean, first of all i am saying this based on my own judgement, you either take it or leave it and don't feel offended because i respect your views and please do respect mine. 

So the thing is, i was having this long talk about what i am going to do with my life, my plans, my dreams, etc with my longtime best friend. I was talking about what i am going to do with my present and future life and nothing i say includes the need of a man in my life. Basically i just said to them that i don't need a guy and i don't intend to have one, at least for now because for me, relationship is such a pain. I don't have time for all those bullshits, those dramas, and cheesy clingy stuffs. I am only ready for all those stuffs when i have achieved what i wanted in life. And when i say i am ready, i don't mean that i would want to be a housewife. Hell no. I am not that kind of woman who spends her day at home watching tv, taking care of kids. I want to have my own career and spends my day at office. 

But none of them gets it. I appeared to be too ambitious and men will definitely feel intimidated and feel that i am ignorant. Well, if you feel intimidated, be a better man. If you feel intimidated, that means that i am more competent than you are, and whose fault is that? Don't blame me for my success. Also, i pretty much know that when i say these things out loud i will pretty much scare all guys away from me and i hope they do. I think everyone should know this, that i am not a normal Medanese (my hometown) girl and that's why i can't get along with people from my hometown. 

When all of the girls in my hometown went to saloons for new hairstyles, i cut my own hair. 

Hair treatment? Don't need it.

Spa? Don't like it. 

Skin treatment? Don't bore me with it.

Indulging life with your boyfriend's card? Definitely don't need it. 

Have your boyfriend to carry your handbag? I think that's ridiculous. You carry your own bag woman! 

When everyone's busy with their love life, i am here busy with my life of what can i do to get to where i wanted to be. I am not the kind of person, who waits around for a guy to get my happily ever after. I think happily ever after is a huge bullshit. Be realistic, look around and see how many broken marriages and relationships are there. 

I strongly support woman empowerment and independence, and i am an individualist. I can live without you or maybe even better. I don't need anyone to fill my emptiness. You know what fills my emptiness? My grades, my works, my achievements. Boyfriend may not last, but my achievements will.

I believe that after saying a bunch of brutally honest stuff coming from me, most of you wouldn't get it. But those people who have ambitions and dreams, would. To those who judge my view, let me ask you, what are your aims in life? What is your dream? What do you want in life? 

Most or all of you will definitely say you want to have a good job, a good family, etc. Well, it is easy to state down what you want isn't it? But if i were to ask you, what sufferings do you want in life? Most or everyone of you will say who wants suffering? You definitely don't want it. But guess what? The moment you said you don't want suffering,  is the moment when i see that you don't really want those things. You only said you want it because that is how life works ; You study, you graduate, you find a job, get married, and have a family. That's not a want, it's an expectation. If you ask me, i clearly know what i wanted in life and what sufferings i want, but i don't share the same expectations as you do. 

Judge whatever you want, but i am proud to be me. I am very proud of where i am standing now and my present self is the person the past me can look up to. And my last question to you, will the younger you look up to the present you? 

I know it's a deep question, but i like to talk about deep things rather than talking about those stupid women's strategy and rules on how to get guys. 

Anyway, i am saying all of these with no intention to offend. I love my hometown friends and i respect their point of view about life. But just because mine's different, it doesn't means that mine's wrong and yours are right. 

Silvia Teh2 Comments